and aspire to something that looks like love.
Or is it just the margarine version?
Try to do all the things
originally on your five-year plan.
Pretend they are still achievable.
Pretend they will make you happy
since what makes you happy can change
within a single unexpected glance.
How what you once thought you wanted,
you are so grateful to have never received.
Love always has a price: how often do you
dare to do the math? Calculate how far off
track you diverged from your five-year plan
with each year of failures. The rest of your life:
now a vast unknown. Still, you might have
wanted better for yourself than to get your heart
shattered on a semi-regular basis.
…
Catherine Lewis is a Chinese Canadian writer based in Vancouver. Her debut chapbook ZIPLESS (845 Press) is a finalist for the 2021 Bisexual Book Awards. Her work is published or forthcoming in The Humber Literary Review, Pulp Literature, PRISM international and The Fiddlehead. Catch her on Twitter/Instagram at @cat_writes_604 or at www.catherinewriter.com.
