i was a [servant-god] made for [you-me]— just
more [water-fire] to pour down a throat, just another
bushburn [sinking-rising] [down-up] the building’s spine,……back to mirror,
a [child-adult] sleeping until 12 [pm-am]……woke till the lightest dark……until until until
i could the can’t.
in this dumbfuck city, the [dream-nightmare] turned into [him-her]—
[in-out] the In’n’Out smelled like the sun:……a desert-
sea to [drown-breathe] in more pills of the [testosterone-estrogen]
kind. running [down-up]…….the alley in a blaze of [shame-glory].
it was [easy-hard]……they wanted me dead AND alive…….like a schrödinger’s pussy
popping off in the club…….because because because
Jesus is [going-coming]………but so am i…..my father-mother-headed monster
desolate in the hallway, still confused at the [image-truth] of me,………….still still still
and silent……..[belief-doubting] their [son-daughter]………and well……..the
[satan-seraph] on my [shoulder-crotch]……..honestly just kept saying whatever it said.
[we-they] created…….[heaven-hell] on earth for me,……….the
[final-first] [he–she] monster.…………vying for [peace-war] yet yet yet
the incision made impossible possible, the
words converging into [one-all] divinity for [me-all]…………freefall
and now i will………………….sustain……………..despite despite despite
Sai Liuko is a writer from Helsinki, Finland, where she received her MA in English Philology. Her poetry has appeared or is forthcoming in Asimov’s Science Fiction, 3Elements Literary Review, Grimoire Magazine, In the Mood Magazine, and others. You can find her on Instagram under @localhotgirlpoet.
